Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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