omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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