I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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