I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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