even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize