Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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