He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
