I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
its not stalking. its research.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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