My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I need moral support for this bender
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
