Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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