Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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