I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
