How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
