I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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