Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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