With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Everything about him screamed your future.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
