i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
