At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
