You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
