Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
