they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize