Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
