Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
