I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
