shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
