Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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