I hate all girls vehemently.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
