I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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