I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
