Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
