I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
