Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
