You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
