But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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