I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
