Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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