i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
