Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
