Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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