My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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