You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
