he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
