there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
