My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
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