went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
