I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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