I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize