Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
