i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
