Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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