I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
