Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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