They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
