Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
