dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
