apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize